Thanks to People Who Say Thanks

say thanks

The best way to have a voice in the world is to speak.

The best way to change the world is to keep improving yourself. The only thing you truly have an effect on.

The best way to improve yourself is to every day try and improve 1% physically, emotionally, creatively, spiritually.

The best way to achieve a goal, is to forget the goal and live by a theme of constant improvement.

The best way to be a jerk is to say “the best way to” over and over again.

The worst way to live life is to give your self esteem to toxic people.

The worst way to live life is to forget that two generations after we die, everything we ever did is dead also.

The worst way to deal with pain is to blame others.

The worst way to love someone else is to require it back


Sometimes I follow this advice. Sometimes I don’t.


The worst way to break your own advice is to hate yourself afterwards.

The first arrow (not following your own advice) will wound you. The second arrow (hating yourself afterwards) will kill you.

The worst way to respond to people who hate you is to…respond.

The best way to respond to people who love you is to be happy inside.

1/3 of people hate you. 1/3 of people love you. 1/3 don’t care. You can’t change this formula.

When I want someone to choose me, when I want an event to be different, when I want a life circumstance to change, I can only surrender to it. I can’t control it.

Surrender is ACTIVE. It teams you up with the strongest part of yourself.

Surrender is PEACEFUL. It lets anxiety take a break. “Anxiety, stop trying to control”.


When I do something wrong to people I try to apologize. Sometimes years later. They don’t have to accept it.

When I’m happy I try not to let it get to my head. Only my heart.

When I’m sad I try not to let it get to my stomach. Because my stomach gets sick when I’m sad or fearful.


Sometimes it’s ok to be stupid, write these things down, and remind myself of what’s the only things that have truly helped me in life.

Surrender.

A friend of mine, 48, died two days ago. A year younger than me. “His heart stopped in his sleep.”

He’s dead. I am still alive.

  • Cesar S, Kowalski

    The idea of surrendering as being an action, instead of a lack of action just changed my POV on many things. Specially since the whole “Anxiety, stop trying to control”. makes perfect sense. Stopping the weird connections that drive into wanting to change things (that can’t or shouldn’t be changed) is challenging.

  • Anne Sidebottom

    Beautiful, James. And as always, so eloquent. Thanks for the reminder. I grapple with anxiety on a regular basis and I like your point about surrendering. A fresh perspective on an old problem.

  • Yan Amenta

    Thanks, James. Sorry about your friend. <3