JEWS CREATED LAZY BINGE-WATCHING OBESE AMERICANS!

Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of anti-Jewish comments. See below photo. I don’t really know why.

I wasn’t really raised Jewish and haven’t been to many Jewish ceremonies since I was a kid.

We all know about Jewish people like Albert Einstein, Jonas Salk (polio vaccine), and perhaps the greatest Jewish person of all, Greg Pincus, who invented modern contraception.

But little known are these great American creations invented by the unsung Jewish heroes of our time.

I figured, in conjunction with the comment made by my good friend, Gerald above, I would list these inventions so that we would not forget. Never forget!

Robert Adler, invented the TV Remote Control. He has saved me THOUSANDS of hours of walking up to the TV and actually changing the channel. Thank you, my Jewish brother, Robert.

“Syl” Goldman, who invented the shopping cart. When I am filling up on the Pringles cans, how would I carry them all. Thank G-d for this creative jew who invented the shopping cart in his own grocery story, the Humpty-Dumpty Grocery chain in Tulsa, Oklahoma in Depression-era 30s.

Joseph Friedman, the “Flexi-straw”. You know, the straw that you can get that bends as opposed to the inflexible straws. I HATE having to move my neck while drinking a McDonald’s shake.

Akiba Horowitz, the Flashlight. I praise Akiba’s Jew name whenever I am looking for things in the dark and have to use a flashlight. incidentally, he changed the name of his company from “American Electrical Novelty and Manufacturing” to EverReady and became known for another invention…batteries.

So forget the jews who invented Chemotherapy, Google, Lasers, Dialysis, and let’s focus on the real heroes who help us in the daily struggle of living.

Congrats to them. Congrats to us. Shame on Gerald but I forgive you.

The only way to forgive hate, to suffer through pain, is to be grateful for the many things we often take for granted in life.

Tonight I will be using the remote control and find a show on Netflix. I will order a soda and sip from a Flexi straw.

I will honor my heritage and to be grateful for this wonderful life we live.

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