PROCRASTINATION OVERDRIVE: 23 THINGS I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING INSTEAD OF MEETING MY BOOK DEADLINE

Is it just a coincidence that the exact number of hours it takes to catch up on Game of Thrones is also the number of hours it takes to get a pilot’s license?

Smart people are wondering about climate change, tariffs, the Middle East, inventing non-lethal weapons, etc.

I woke up this morning at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep.

I have a book deadline right now. Think Like a Billionaire. I should be working on that.

I will never be a billionaire. I know this because of the very specific things I learned from the many billionaires I’ve spoken to while researching this book.

In part, it’s because I procrastinate. I’m ok with that.

Like, since 4am this morning, I’ve been wondering about these items, roughly in this order:

  1. Why is America called “the land of the free” but 12 of our Presidents owned other human beings?
  2. Why does the phrase “Hitler didn’t finish the job?” have 1.73 million search results on Google?
  3. Is The Wizard of Oz just a witch hunt?
  4. Why doesn’t anyone in the galaxy of Star Wars ever read a book?
  5. Why would anyone risk wearing a red shirt on Star Trek?
  6. What happened to the spouses of Mike and Carol Brady before they got married? Are they buried in the backyard?
  7. Why can a 12 year old legally have consensual sex with a 14 year old, but a 17 year old can’t get a tattoo, and 18 year olds can legally ride tanks and shoot people and take out $170,000 in loans, but none of these people can drink a single glass of beer?
  8. Why does the president of Quinnipiac College (who?) make $3.5 million per year in salary?
  9. Why did all the Hollywood stars who said they were going to “move to Canada” after the election didn’t instead say they would “move to Mexico”? It’s closer to LA, better weather, lower taxes, cheaper real estate. ???
  10. Why does Soliris, a drug that saves lives, cost $500,000 a year? But a glass of alcohol, which kills people, cost about $5?
  11. Why were WWI and WWII caused by rising fascism, but WWIII is probably going to be caused by excessive tweeting?
  12. Why is America the only country where people clap when there are explosions over their cities (on July 4)?
  13. Why does it take a minute for two drunk people in Las Vegas to get married but the average divorce in the U.S. takes over one year in the court system?
  14. Why do men die 4x as often as women because of suicide? But women attempt suicide 2x as much as men? 121 people a day die of suicide, and why are 22 of them veterans who have sacrificed everything to serve their country?
  15. Why is the King of Wakanda called “The Black Panther” when everyone else in Wakanda is black? Why isn’t he just called “The Panther”?
  16. Why does the best Jewish player in the NBA have an average score per game of 12 points and the best African-American player has an average of 28 points per game but it’s often considered racist to point this out?
  17. Why is Vice President Mike Pence’s favorite movie The Wizard of Oz (see #2) but his favorite book is the Bible?
  18. Why is Facebook, which NOBODY actually needs, worth $496 BILLION and ExxonMobil, which EVERYONE needs, is worth $338 billion? (h/t Cal Newport)
  19. Why do my Democrat friends think I’m Republican and my Republican friends think I’m Democrat? Why don’t I have any friends?
  20. Why do three in 10 people believe in astrology but four in 10 don’t believe in evolution?
  21. Why don’t “veggie chips” have any vegetables? (h/t Jesse Itzler)
  22. Why did I JUST hear the story about a long-time associate who apparently beat his wife SO BADLY they had to hire a doctor privately (so it wouldn’t be reported to the police) to have his wife “sewn back up”?
  23. What is wrong with people?

This is why I need to pay attention to what Scott Adams, creator of the top syndicated cartoon Dibert, once told me:

“Once you believe that all people are inherently irrational, your life gets a lot better.”

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