Most Recent

How To Become A Millionaire

I was a poor high school student with mediocre grades. I didn’t play any sports. I had few friends. I’d go home and read and watch TV all day and night. I…

I was a poor high school student with mediocre grades. I didn’t play any sports. I had few friends. I’d go home and read and watch TV all day and night. I love TV. I was a mediocre college student. But I didn’t want to get into too much debt. I took lots of extra […]

Read MoreComment

How To Fail Through Optimism

The last time I spoke to my dad, I hung up on him. I was asking to borrow money. I was 34 years old about to turn 35. I was terrified. I…

The last time I spoke to my dad, I hung up on him. I was asking to borrow money. I was 34 years old about to turn 35. I was terrified. I needed money. I had two baby girls. I had gone from $15 million to $0. “I will borrow $1,000 and then return it […]

Read MoreComment

MY PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN, PART ONE

“James Altucher is running for president. I had only about 45 seconds to look at this platform, but it was enough. I’m voting for James.” – Mark Ford When I was a kid…

“James Altucher is running for president. I had only about 45 seconds to look at this platform, but it was enough. I’m voting for James.” – Mark Ford When I was a kid I wanted to be President. I read every biography of every President. I read the stories of every presidential campaign. I went to […]

Read MoreComment

17 THINGS I WISH I KNEW AT 17

I regret. I regret a lot. I wish I could have been different. I wish I could be 17 again and know these rules. There’s nothing wrong with regret. There’s nothing wrong…

I regret. I regret a lot. I wish I could have been different. I wish I could be 17 again and know these rules. There’s nothing wrong with regret. There’s nothing wrong with wondering how your life would have been different and better. This is what I wish I knew. A) DON’T DEPEND ON OTHERS […]

Read MoreComment

Stop Calling Louis C.K. “OLD”

Last week, someone recorded a set Louis C.K. did, leaked it, and now everyone is upset. Louis C.K. brings up various issues including the Parkland students, transgender, etc. Articles say, “he’s punching…

Last week, someone recorded a set Louis C.K. did, leaked it, and now everyone is upset. Louis C.K. brings up various issues including the Parkland students, transgender, etc. Articles say, “he’s punching down”, “he’s insensitive”, “he’s lazy”, “he’s a hack”, “why is he even performing?”, “he’s lost his edge”, etc. I listened to the bootleg […]

Read MoreComment

How To Deal With Crappy, Toxic People

Sometimes I sit around having imaginary arguments with people I love/hate. They did this! And this! WHY?? I loved them. How could they do this!? I did THIS for them. WHY? I…

Sometimes I sit around having imaginary arguments with people I love/hate. They did this! And this! WHY?? I loved them. How could they do this!? I did THIS for them. WHY? I could do this fun activity for hours. Days even! I imagine what they say. And what I say back. And what they say. […]

Read MoreComment

5 Methods For Self-Improvement

1) WRITE DOWN 10 IDEAS A DAY I started doing this in 2002. My first list: 10 chapters for a book called “How to Beat Your Friends at Every Game in the…

1) WRITE DOWN 10 IDEAS A DAY I started doing this in 2002. My first list: 10 chapters for a book called “How to Beat Your Friends at Every Game in the Universe”. I never wrote the book. The next day I wrote down the next set of 10 ideas. And the next day the […]

Read MoreComment