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Persuasion 101 for Fun and Profit

This is what happened. The guy got a $10 million offer for his business, which was a mental health facility for teenage drug addicts. He had nothing in the bank. “Should I…

This is what happened. The guy got a $10 million offer for his business, which was a mental health facility for teenage drug addicts. He had nothing in the bank. “Should I take it?” he asked me. Maybe I owned a small part of the mental health facility. I said, “Don’t take $10 million. Let […]

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The Power of Terror and How You Can Use It

The woman stood up and shouted to me onstage, and to the audience, “OK, OK! Enough is enough! I am leaving.” I was being heckled. Nobody should do standup comedy. I don’t…

The woman stood up and shouted to me onstage, and to the audience, “OK, OK! Enough is enough! I am leaving.” I was being heckled. Nobody should do standup comedy. I don’t know why I torture myself. It’s the worst. This particular incident was about two years ago. Maybe the first time I did standup […]

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When Did Social “Networks” Turn Into Social “Media”?

I miss my Facebook friends. They used to be so nice. I’d “like” old photos of weddings I never attended. I’d think, “Wow, Dave’s got a book out,” or “Man, my old…

I miss my Facebook friends. They used to be so nice. I’d “like” old photos of weddings I never attended. I’d think, “Wow, Dave’s got a book out,” or “Man, my old crush has seven kids.” Now everyone’s sitting in their suburban air-conditioned homes with their Ivy League diplomas on the wall typing out, “Anyone […]

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What Is the Correct Way to Live Your Life?

Is it bad I wanted to have sex with my real estate agent? It was 1999. I had a ton of money for the first time in my life and I wanted…

Is it bad I wanted to have sex with my real estate agent? It was 1999. I had a ton of money for the first time in my life and I wanted to buy an amazing apartment. Just a year earlier, I had $0. I had college debt. But I was happy with zero. Every […]

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What Is the Best Writing Advice You Have Received?

I was thrown out of graduate school because I thought women would only like me if I published a novel. So every day, starting in 1990, I wrote 3,000 words a day.…

I was thrown out of graduate school because I thought women would only like me if I published a novel. So every day, starting in 1990, I wrote 3,000 words a day. I’d go up to girls in bars and ask if I could read to them. 100% of them would say no. Or laugh […]

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10 Things You Can Do With Zero Talent Or Skill

I couldn’t get out of bed. I’d try to play with my kids. I’d try to read. To learn! Anything. Any f***ing thing. Nothing. Ugh. “Kids always make you happier!” Everyone would…

I couldn’t get out of bed. I’d try to play with my kids. I’d try to read. To learn! Anything. Any f***ing thing. Nothing. Ugh. “Kids always make you happier!” Everyone would lie to me. What a piece of BS that is. When I saw my kids I would think, “They just lost their shot […]

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MY THIRD BOOK CHALLENGE: WHAT WOULD JESUS EAT?

In the Choose Yourself Publishing Group, I post a new book challenge approximately once a month. [Get access to the Group here.] The idea of each challenge is: The book can be…

In the Choose Yourself Publishing Group, I post a new book challenge approximately once a month. [Get access to the Group here.] The idea of each challenge is: The book can be done in a month The book doesn’t have to be big (30-50 pages is fine for a self-published book. More of course is […]

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