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The 10 Commandments of the American Religion

I want freedom. Since birth: society, the government, corporations, teachers, colleagues all have their own agendas. Instinctively, they try to give us those agendas. I try to be a greedy skeptic. Skepticism…

I want freedom. Since birth: society, the government, corporations, teachers, colleagues all have their own agendas. Instinctively, they try to give us those agendas. I try to be a greedy skeptic. Skepticism leads to freedom. Leads to entrepreneurship. Leads to freedom. Skepticism allows you to blaze your own unique path in between the layers of […]

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Me and Jessica Biel — A Love Story

I am not going to make fun of Jessica Biel. Her first film was called A Woman of No Importance. Her skills in that movie launched her now very impressive career. I…

I am not going to make fun of Jessica Biel. Her first film was called A Woman of No Importance. Her skills in that movie launched her now very impressive career. I saw a headline: “California legislators confer with Jessica Biel about vaccine legislation.” I didn’t understand it. Was it Jessica Biel, the biologist? Was […]

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What to Do When People Hate You

I got an email, “You’re ugly. Shut the F up.” It was the first time I got hate mail. I had an opinion about the stock market, wrote it, then got this…

I got an email, “You’re ugly. Shut the F up.” It was the first time I got hate mail. I had an opinion about the stock market, wrote it, then got this email. It was 2002. I showed a friend of mine. “That’s a badge of honor. It means people are paying attention to you.” […]

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5 Reasons I Don’t Go to Doctors

I haven’t had a checkup since I was 16 years old. Not because I’m so healthy. But because doctors kill people. On paper, being a doctor seems pretty great. The money is…

I haven’t had a checkup since I was 16 years old. Not because I’m so healthy. But because doctors kill people. On paper, being a doctor seems pretty great. The money is good, it makes everyone around you feel inferior, and you get a diploma that literally gives you permission to play God. But… 5. […]

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The Only Thing That Makes Me Happier

I was ashamed of everything. I moved about 100 miles away so there was no chance I could run into anyone I knew. I didn’t have a job. It was snowing every…

I was ashamed of everything. I moved about 100 miles away so there was no chance I could run into anyone I knew. I didn’t have a job. It was snowing every day. I never left my new, tiny home because I was afraid I’d cry outside. Like my dad when he had become depressed […]

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Don’t: The B.S. of the American Religion

I lost a friend. I didn’t tell her I got married. I didn’t tell anyone. I eloped. Later, I told people.  She wrote me, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” And…

I lost a friend. I didn’t tell her I got married. I didn’t tell anyone. I eloped. Later, I told people.  She wrote me, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” And she stopped talking to me. It’s a cliche to say, “Then she wasn’t really your friend.” That’s not true. I thought she was […]

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An Opera Singer + Iraqi Dinars = Immortality

I asked people, “Who loves their jobs?” I was MCing a comedy show. A few people shouted out, “I do!” I also had a 25 Iraqi dinar bill in my pocket. From…

I asked people, “Who loves their jobs?” I was MCing a comedy show. A few people shouted out, “I do!” I also had a 25 Iraqi dinar bill in my pocket. From 2001 so it had Saddam Hussein’s face on it. It helps to have ex-CIA friends. Time for shit to go down. — Sometimes […]

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