Blog Category: Featured

An Opera Singer + Iraqi Dinars = Immortality

I asked people, “Who loves their jobs?” I was MCing a comedy show. A few people shouted out, “I do!” I also had a 25 Iraqi dinar bill in my pocket. From…

I asked people, “Who loves their jobs?” I was MCing a comedy show. A few people shouted out, “I do!” I also had a 25 Iraqi dinar bill in my pocket. From 2001 so it had Saddam Hussein’s face on it. It helps to have ex-CIA friends. Time for shit to go down. — Sometimes […]

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Seven Things I Learned from Chess

Chess got me a girlfriend, it got me into college, it got me into graduate school, it got me my first job, it helped me raise money, it got my company sold,…

Chess got me a girlfriend, it got me into college, it got me into graduate school, it got me my first job, it helped me raise money, it got my company sold, and it’s opened doors when previously they seemed locked to everyone around me. People mistakenly think chess = “smart.” This is very wrong. […]

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The Ultimate Guide to Going Broke

I was so happy. In 1995. I was pre-ambition. I’d get into work at 10 a.m. Sneak out around 4 p.m. I had a one-room apartment and my only piece of furniture…

I was so happy. In 1995. I was pre-ambition. I’d get into work at 10 a.m. Sneak out around 4 p.m. I had a one-room apartment and my only piece of furniture was a foam mattress. It was summer and I had no air conditioning. I had no sheets for the mattress. So by morning […]

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Seven Reasons Not to Go to College (and a Solution)

I desperately needed to skip a year of college. I paid for my college. I borrowed too much money. But to graduate in three years I needed a 3.0 average. I had…

I desperately needed to skip a year of college. I paid for my college. I borrowed too much money. But to graduate in three years I needed a 3.0 average. I had a 2.99. THEY WOULD NOT LET ME GRADUATE! I went to a professor in a class (Fortran programming) where I had gotten a […]

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Don’t Buy a Home!

The worst decision I ever made was buying a home. Or two. Not only that, but for reasons I describe below, real estate is going down.  When I ask people why they…

The worst decision I ever made was buying a home. Or two. Not only that, but for reasons I describe below, real estate is going down.  When I ask people why they buy a home they give me several reasons: A) It’s a great investment. In the long run it will be your retirement savings. […]

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Persuasion 101 for Fun and Profit

This is what happened. The guy got a $10 million offer for his business, which was a mental health facility for teenage drug addicts. He had nothing in the bank. “Should I…

This is what happened. The guy got a $10 million offer for his business, which was a mental health facility for teenage drug addicts. He had nothing in the bank. “Should I take it?” he asked me. Maybe I owned a small part of the mental health facility. I said, “Don’t take $10 million. Let […]

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The Power of Terror and How You Can Use It

The woman stood up and shouted to me onstage, and to the audience, “OK, OK! Enough is enough! I am leaving.” I was being heckled. Nobody should do standup comedy. I don’t…

The woman stood up and shouted to me onstage, and to the audience, “OK, OK! Enough is enough! I am leaving.” I was being heckled. Nobody should do standup comedy. I don’t know why I torture myself. It’s the worst. This particular incident was about two years ago. Maybe the first time I did standup […]

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