If you take the fecal matter of a thin rat and put it into the rectum of a fat rat, the fat rat gets thinner. If you take the fecal matter of…
If you take the fecal matter of a thin rat and put it into the rectum of a fat rat, the fat rat gets thinner. If you take the fecal matter of a fat rat and put it into the rectum of a thin rat, the thin rat gets fatter. That thin rat must get […]
“This tube you see coming out of me is directly connected to my heart and pumps liquid into it, tricking my heart into thinking it’s OK.” I had asked the cab driver…
“This tube you see coming out of me is directly connected to my heart and pumps liquid into it, tricking my heart into thinking it’s OK.” I had asked the cab driver what that machine was. I saw the tube sticking out of his side. “Are you OK?” He looked at me through his mirror […]
My friend wanted to be a famous artist. But she said, “I can do it in Paris. I feel that will inspire me.” She had unopened paintbrushes in her apartment. Waiting to…
My friend wanted to be a famous artist. But she said, “I can do it in Paris. I feel that will inspire me.” She had unopened paintbrushes in her apartment. Waiting to be packed. Twenty years later, she’s a computer programmer at an accounting firm in California. Another friend of mine is divorced and thinks […]
I wanted to see women naked. But I was too ugly. I was 12. I had a cyst so big I could Airbnb it out if I had it now. I had…
I wanted to see women naked. But I was too ugly. I was 12. I had a cyst so big I could Airbnb it out if I had it now. I had acne all over my face. My hair was tangled like dreadlocks. My glasses were huge and bent. I had braces and metal all […]
I haven’t had a checkup since I was 16 years old. Not because I’m so healthy. But because doctors kill people. On paper, being a doctor seems pretty great. The money is…
I haven’t had a checkup since I was 16 years old. Not because I’m so healthy. But because doctors kill people. On paper, being a doctor seems pretty great. The money is good, it makes everyone around you feel inferior, and you get a diploma that literally gives you permission to play God. But… 5. […]
I couldn’t get out of bed. I’d try to play with my kids. I’d try to read. To learn! Anything. Any f***ing thing. Nothing. Ugh. “Kids always make you happier!” Everyone would…
I couldn’t get out of bed. I’d try to play with my kids. I’d try to read. To learn! Anything. Any f***ing thing. Nothing. Ugh. “Kids always make you happier!” Everyone would lie to me. What a piece of BS that is. When I saw my kids I would think, “They just lost their shot […]
I’m a sociopath. Or a narcissist. Or a fraud. A scam. A con. A criminal. A bad son. Asperger’s. Money is my “religion”. “Crazy!” It’s a good thing everyone else is so…
I’m a sociopath. Or a narcissist. Or a fraud. A scam. A con. A criminal. A bad son. Asperger’s. Money is my “religion”. “Crazy!” It’s a good thing everyone else is so perfect. That way after I upset them they can tell me very clearly what I am. My friend recently was broken up with […]
