One of them is dead. The other disappeared and is probably dead. One, I think, committed suicide but I’m afraid to ask her brother if that’s true.
Another went crazy and I had to block him on my Facebook page. And the other I lost track of.
They were my best friends growing up.
In college I can’t remember who any of my friends were. In graduate school I had a “best friend” but then I didn’t go to his wedding and I felt too ashamed to call him about it and now we don’t talk anymore.
I don’t keep in touch with anyone from my first job. And of all the people in my first business, only one keeps in touch with me. And of the 500 or so people in my second business, one keeps in touch with me.
I haven’t been very good at bonding. I haven’t been very good at friendship. And although I like to think I might have been kind at moments it doesn’t seem to have borne any fruits in my current day.
Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. It’s the neurotransmitter that shoots through your brain when you bond with someone, when you kiss someone, when someone trusts you, causing among other things, happiness.
I was always so focused on fake external goals that I never focused on how I could clean my own internal, to make my life better. I lacked oxytocin.
Oxytocin also has benefits that can make your life better. It’s sometimes considered the “super hormone”. It’s sometimes called “the love hormone”.
- When oxytocin is flowing through you, it’s easier to become intimate with loved ones. People WANT to be intimate with you.
- It gives you more confidence and self-esteem.
- It reduces inflammation.Which is not only good for healing visible wounds but on a cellular level inflammation is linked to heart disease, cancer, strokes, Alzheimers, Parkinsons, etc.
- It reduces obesity
- It’s a natural anti-depressant.In other words, the more oxytocin you can regularly trigger, the happier you will be. Oxytocin metabolizes quickly. So the happiness only lasts a short while.Which is why you have to do continual things that help you increase your base level of oxytocin.
- You get natural increases in desires to be generous and kind.
People ask me, “isn’t ‘choosing yourself’ selfish. Shouldn’t you focus on helping others?”
The best way to change the outside world is to do the simple things it takes to make sure you are flourishing in your inside world.
The simple tricks it takes to increase your oxytocin will make you generous, kind, healthy, intimate, and more empathetic to those around you.
This is one way to make more use of your brain. To gradually transform into a superhero.
You can only live inside yourself. You can’t live inside somebody else. But if the place where you live is a beacon, then all will feel warmth from the light.
Try this: hug someone for six seconds. Oxytocin is triggered. Do you feel the difference?
I’m an oxytocin addict now. All day long I research new ways to naturally increase it in my body.