EdgeFoley @EdgeFoley: I just found your blog. I appreciate the honesty. It seems like you struggle with your own advice, does it ever get easier?
ANSWER:
Yesterday I was angry with Claudia about something stupid. And then I was upset with myself for not following my own advice. About what? About many things. About everything. We’re all human. Our bodies get sick. Our minds get sick. Our emotions get sick.
But inside, there is no sick.
If you are quiet and still. And just listen to your breath for just a second. And delay being anxious, delay thinking for just a second, just wait for it, then you can relax for a moment. Say, “I feel this anxiety and anger, but I’m going to wait a few seconds before I let it really bother me.” Keep delaying, even if you feel it in the body. I tried it. I still felt the anger but it was not the real me, it was sitting on top of me, pushing me down. But it wasn’t me.
In one way or other this happens to me every day.
The real practice is to acknowledge the feelings and thoughts that attack us all day long. These thoughts and fears happen all day long but we are parents and they are children. The key is to show your children where the boundaries are. Not ignore them.
When I feel overwhelmed with some emotion then sometimes it’s very hard to take a step back and say, “that’s just an emotion. it’s not the real me.” But I try hard to feel it in the body, where it’s hurting me: in my head, in my chest, in my stomach, wherever. And I just sit there with it. I don’t have to label it. Or be angry at myself for having it. It’s there. It’s painful. I can give it my attention. And wait.
Eventually I ended up right here. And the pain is gone.