Efrain Martinez @martefrain: I tend to avoid my problems. were you ever like this? advice?
ANSWER:
Sure, I will give you advice on this. I am an expert on avoiding problems. This is why every few years I have to make a deal with the IRS. While I was in my first marriage I even had a slight crush on the IRS agent specifically assigned to my case. Heck, she’s still assigned to it. Hi Mary!
I avoid problems in every situation. Once something becomes a problem for me I almost avoid too quickly. I stop returning calls or emails.
So..who cares? We all die eventually. One hundred years from now we are all dust. People can just move on. They don’t have to worry about me so much.
BUT, that said, dealing with avoiding problems is causing you stress. I get that. Sometimes at 3 in the morning I wake up with almost a visible shudder. I wake up Claudia and say, “remind me to write back Peter tomorrow. I forgot to write him.” I get nervous when I avoid TOO much.
Here’s what you do. Make a list of all your problems. Right now do it. This is your list of the day. All of the people you’ve been avoiding. All the work that you have to do. Now do one thing to declutter each problem today. For instance, my driver’s license has been suspended for so long in so many states and for so many reasons that now I have to take the driver’s exam again. Ok, so I will get the book and study a little. Like, can you turn on red in New York State? I have no idea! Is it really such a crime to cross a double yellow line when nobody can see me?
As you get older you want to declutter everything. You want nothing holding you down. Problems are like zombies in a graveyard trying to pull you down under the dirt (why were you walking in a graveyard anyway? I’ll tell you why: because the entire world is a graveyard, patiently waiting for our bodies to bit by bit decay so we can marry the dirt while our souls marry the sky). Declutter at least one thing a day. Today I threw out some books. I returned some emails I had been delaying. I’m finishing this post I was putting off for some reason, I meditated on why I’m so anxious about different investments. This is all decluttering.
Declutter a little each day and you won’t have this problem anymore.