Brandon Harnish @bkharnish: how do you apply pacifism to being a father. My nephew lied to me. And what good does it do him to just let it go?
ANSWER:
As I write this, I’m upset at one of my kids. She was rude to me right after I took her to a friend’s party and picked her up at the party and then Claudia cooked dinner and now she was using my computer to play games. Life was good for her and she was still rude to me about something. What should I do? Here’s what I will do:
– I always have “office hours” with my kids. They can tell me anything bothering them but I can also tell them.
– If they behave really badly I tell them I’m disappointed in them and why. This may or may not solve the problem right there.
– If the behavior continues then I suspend certain privileges. Computers for instance. Or phone for a week. This will work.
– Sometimes there is nothing you can do. As kids get older they turn into their own people. Maybe they are right about what they are saying about you or too you or how they are behaving towards you. How do you know you are right? Sometimes the misbehavior was their only way to express their feelings about an oppressive system (You). So question your own behavior to. The people that you love around you deserve that.