Yourrealname @skaifenix: What about unrequited love/obsession?
ANSWER:
Here’s what happened the last time I had serious unrequited love that I couldn’t deal with. I would call her at 6am every morning to make sure she wasn’t cheating on me. I would bring over bagels for breakfast to make sure she wasn’t cheating. I would literally force her to hang around me all day. I would spy on her ex-boyfriend. I put a keystroke logger on her computer to illegally read all her emails and even though she and her ex only typed in French to each other (and this was pre-Google Translate) I would take out my French-English dictionary.
I would be in pain everytime she wasn’t around me. I would cry. I would beg. I would demand. I would go to aerobics classes I didn’t want to go to. And watch TV I didn’t want to watch. I humiliated myself in every way. I would eat awful vegetarian dishes. More crying. More, “I can’t believe this!” End result. An abortion. Father? Unknown.
There is no such thing as unrequited love. Unrequited love = BS.
Unrequited love means you want to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you. So when that happens to you there’s only one answer: move on. There’s 3.5 billion women on the planet. Probably at least 35 million of those women would be ok with having sex with you. Maybe more depending on how you look, how much money you have, how you smell, how young you are, how nice you are, etc. Don’t waste time on one of the many women who don’t want to have sex with you.
But I understand obsession. It’s bad for you. I’ve lost millions of dollars because of obsession. It’s the worst pain in the world and it’s an addiction. I do recommend SLAA, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous to get over addictions. And you do admit you have a problem (obviously the words “obsession” and “love” don’t really go together).
So what kinds of love are there:
A) When two people want to help each other fulfill their dreams in every way. (Sexually, asexually – doesn’t matter)
B) The kind of love where you realize that we are all basically the same. 99.999% of our genetic material is the same. And deep down, when you get past all the fears and desires and likes and dislikes, experiences, backgrounds – the source of who we are is the same inside each and every one of us. So if you can love yourself, it’s the same as saying you love everyone. This is a different kind of love than “A”. This is a love that doesn’t disappear once one side is no longer fulfilling his or her side of the bargain. This is the kind of love you aspire to.
If you can feel “B” on a regular basis, then unrequited love will never be a worry.
All flowers have different colors. But the light that lets us see these colors is the same. Real love is when you are the light and not the flower.