iretired @iretired: what are the biggest problems parents face these days?
Being a kid actually sucks. First you are in a total prison. You can’t eat or crap or walk on your own. It’s even worse. You crap in your pants uncontrollably and have to sit in it, and you can’t communicate with anyone. Then the prison gets a little bigger. You can crawl around a house. But it takes years before you are allowed to wander without heavy security guarding you at all times.
And to really be free from prison you need money. You don’t get that for a long time.
Not to mention the worst thing of all for kids: your bodies start to grow and your hormones start to kick off before your mind is ready for it. So your mind is a prisoner in your own body. 13 year olds can have children but they are completely mentally incapable of having children. So there is this huge disconnect between the mind and the emotions and the body.
So for a good 15-18 years you are in total prison. What do prisoners do? They try to break free.
They try to push the boundaries of the prison to see what they can deal with.
How parents deal with this pushing, makes or breaks their entire relationship for the rest of their lives with this little individual they created. You can’t give in too much because, after all, it really is a prison and you are the guard. But you can’t make the prison too strict, or eventually the kid breaks out and starts a full-fledged Alcatraz-style riot.
So I’m going to recommend a book that was just recommended to me. Because I deal with these issues every day. Or at least every week:
The Essential Guide to the New Adolescence by Ava Siegler
My goal is to understand where all of the boundaries are as they age and grow older and what are all the ways I can help them explore these boundaries without setting them free before they learn how to fly. I hope I can be a good father. I’m really trying hard.