Clint Smith @thecrint: what is the glue that brings/keeps two people together in a relationship/marriage? Tangibles please!
It’s really two question. What is the glue that brings people together. What is the glue that keeps people together.
Sex is the glue that brings people together. When I first saw Claudia, I’ll admit, before she even said two words to me I wondered what it would be like to have sex with her. And that’s how it’s been in every relationship I’ve had. Does that make me an animal? Yes it does. I’m a human animal. I’m a hunter in the wild. I have a biological need to spread my seed. Ok, enough of that.
Because no matter what, you need more than that to keep a relationship and marriage going (and by the way, you should always keep the first glue going but now you need cement to really build a house).
What’s the cement that keeps the house built that’s called marriage? I have to constantly put myself in her shoes. I have to constantly wonder when she’s happy or upset, what are the triggers that are causing these emotions. I want to alleviate her struggles and help her achieve her goals. And I also want her to be happy right now. I also want to feel like she is doing the same. I don’t want it to be one-sided.
Sometimes it can’t always be two-sided. That’s ok also.
But sometimes thngs just drift. People change. People no longer want to help the other achieve their goals. People no longer care as much about the other person’s happiness.
It’s ok to leave a relationship. Life is short. Give yourself permission to leave if you want to. And give the other permission to leave if they want to. Thats not glue. Or cement. That’s real love.