Leon Benson @LeonBenson2: What is your biggest fear? And what advice can you give to freelancers and business developers when it comes to forward progress
ANSWER:
I’m without money. Homeless. Scabs. Claudia cheats on me. My kids hate me. People steal money from me. There. That’s the worst that can happen. Then I go homeless and have soup every day and eventually die. Or maybe even worse. I go to jail. Or, not being so selfish. Something really bad happens to my kids. Or something bad happens to Claudia. That’s my worst fear. In fact, I probably think about each of these things every single day. My fear is I will never stop thinking about these fears.
It’s so easy to be without fears. All I have to do is:
– not worry about money
– not worry about my health
– not worry that those I currently love will abandon me like so many have in the past.
– not feel insecure about looks or whatever it is i’m insecure about if we pull a date out of a lottery basket.
– not get addicted to the things that have addicted me in the past 44 years.
– not think about all the people who rub me in the wrong way, in the wrong places, at the wrong times. I obsess on them at 3 in the morning.
These are all basic things. What if you just say, “Ok, that’s it, I’m not going to worry about the above.” All of the above are my biggest fears. Perhaps even bigger is my fear that I will never eliminate these worries. Never experience what it’s like to be perfectly sane and go through a day where the worries hit me and just slide off like a drop of water. It seems like it could be so easy. Like I could just decide: I WON’T worry about these things.
We know this is true rationally. So why don’t we do it?
And if the worries come up I can invite them in for tea, say hello, say goodbye, and be happy all around. Because the real me is not the worry!.
Never say “I am worried about money” because then the “am” defines YOU as the WORRY. Say instead “I am a person with a mind that worries about money this second” . this distances the real you in time and space from the actual worry, from the perceived events that don’t even exist yet, will probably never exist yet.
How can you build the courage and strength to do this. How is this distance created. I have found only one way that works for me:
The daily practice that I write about constantly:
You have to trust me on this. It works. I get the testimonials. It works for me. I’m not even trying to sell you anything. It simply works and I want people to feel better doing it.
Here’s the site that reader Jay Shirley developed to help others keep track of the practice. TDP.ME. Start off with simple, easy to accomplish goals. Just check the box. That’s it.
I am going to announce an official launch of that site sometime in the next few days I think to give a guide to people how to best use it.
My biggest fears have destroyed my life too many times. No more!