What's life after retirement?

Efrain Martinez ‏@martefrain_: it seems like ever since ur born lifes all about working getting promotion etc But whats life after retirement? It seems lifeless


I was retired when I was three years old. All I had to do all day was shit in my pants and play with my friends, often at the same time. My friends were disgusted with me when that happened and my mother had to comfort me. Other things I remember about my “retirement”: whenever the full moon was out it meant the Bat Signal was ON. Sesame Street had some good moments. I always wanted to try spinach because Popeye ate spinach but I HATED the taste. A special treat in my retirement was when my mom would play JUST ONE MORE game of checkers with me.

On other days I would play with my friends. One time I accidentally broke the door of one friend’s house. Another time I drew all over a friend’s window. Both instances I denied to my parents when their parents inevitably called mine to punish me. Retirement was great. It was creative. I was master of my universe.

And then it all ended. One day I woke up and I was told I had to go to something called “nursery school”. When is it over? I wanted to know. I wanted my retirement back.

My dad explained it to me:

Well first you go to nursery school for two years, then kindergarten, then 12 years of school, then 4 years of college, then probably another 4 years of graduate school, then you work for 40 years, then when you are as old as grandpa, you’ll be retired and you can do whatever you want.


Oh god. And then I went to school and everyone hated me (that thing about shitting in your pants while lying on top of a group of kids just didn’t work very well in a social environment). And then in grade school it didn’t work (peeing in your pants doesn’t work either). And then college didn’t work (homework? tests? a girlfriend who was throwing food at me whenever she got angry, which was every day, and grad school didn’t work (I got thrown out)). Then jobs didn’t work. I was always trying to do something on the side (write a novel, start a business). I wasn’t very good at corporate politics. Later, when I had more flexible jobs I would disappear for months at a time (CEO to me: “Jim Cramer wants to know why you are never here”) or I would just disappear completely (in the middle of a meeting, walking out of the building, never coming back).

(maybe the house Claudia and I will move to when we retire)

“Work” is just a tiny subset of the life around you. You do it to live. You do it when you have to. All other times it should be avoided. You’re in the Matrix but you don’t realize it. Bit by bit you can plan your escape.

“But what if I have no money?” you might say. Good question. EVERYONE has skills to develop multiple streams of income on their own. Make sure you are healthy. Make sure you are coming up with ideas nonstop and your idea muscle is healthy. Be around supportive people. Give yourself a five year time period to break free. And then start dipping your feet in the River of Change. Once you are immersed from toe to head, you will feel as if you are suffocating for air. But you will find an ocean of life swimming around you. You’ll swim off the island, into the current, and sometimes those currents will be rough, will throw you around, will make you feel like you are going to die, crashing into the rocks. But you will never swim back to that little island. The entire world needs to be explored.

That is your “retirement”. It can start right now and it will never be boring and it will never end.